Subtle Disengagement: Child and Mother Playing with Dolls and Warming Up to a New Person

In this video, a mother and her daughter are playing together. The daughter is a little shy and tentative since they are in a new place and becomes even more so when a new person enters the room The daughter exhibits many subtle disengagement cues, but because of the pacing provided by the stranger and the mother, she is able to stay involved in the interaction.

Teaching Points

• The little girl gave many subtle disengagement cues, communicating her uncertainty and discomfort with being in a new place and with a new person. Her mother and the stranger read these cues sensitively and slowed down the pace of the interaction, which kept her engaged in the play despite her discomfort.
• By the end of the interaction, with just a couple minutes of waiting and well-timed comments, the little girl was including the stranger in her play.
• The little girl wanted to be relational but felt uncertain. When she does hand the stranger the doll that she’s placed in the cup, she has a brief moment of shared delight with the stranger.
• She seems proud of her idea to put the baby in the cup and wants to share this with the stranger. She then reconsiders and takes the doll back but in this brief interaction, there was a moment of mutuality and delight.
• Both the mother and the stranger followed the child’s lead in her play and commented contingently on what the child was doing.
• These in the moment, responsive interactions help the child feel known, capable, and delighted in. They also enhance language and social-emotional development.