Mutuality: Mother and Toddler Son Reading a Book Together

In this video below, the mother has been asked to play with her son. At first, he’s not very interested (crawling away is a strong disengagement cue!) but she is able to get his attention to read a book together. Watch how closely connected the communication is between the mother and baby. When the mother says something, the baby responds verbally or nonverbally. When the baby makes an initiation, the mother’s response is so fluid that you wouldn’t even notice. He says “Doggy”; she says “Yes, it is doggy”. They are having a really synchronous interaction. He says “No”; she says “No”. There is nice physical contact. They are comfortable. She says “They’re dancing”; he thinks about it and does it.

Notice how short the interaction actually is. The baby and mother briefly read the book together and then the baby is ready to be done (and the mother follows his lead and lets him be done). In this short time together, there is shared attention, language and delight shared between them.

Teaching Points

• The communication is going both ways. The mother responds to the baby, and the baby responds to the mother.
• Shared delight is very regulating and very connecting. You feel it as the provider in the room.
• There is so much language, both verbal and nonverbal, going back and forth naturally in these serve and return interactions.